The Nick Abbot Habit

00:02 This is a global production. 00:04 Oh, it's a good one for you this week. In this episode, meat was past its use-by date, Batgirl came to town, and the Catastrophic Clown Show continued... 00:17 Oh, hello. Hello. 0345 6060 973. 00:21 Jim texts, I took your advice the other day and tailgated the car in front, beeping my horn and flashing my lights. Eventually, he moved over. But you won't believe this. As soon as I got past him, there was another car in front of me, says Jim. 00:38 You believe that? 00:40 Rona texts, what on earth is going on? I can't keep up. Defections, blackmail allegations and meatloaf dying. What a week. 00:47 And Simon says, do you think the whips might have a secret about Michael Fabricant's hair? 00:55 I think it comes in a can, like Silly String. 00:58 Or that squirty foam, that cream stuff. 01:04 Either way, Michael Fabricant. You don't need to put all of that product in your hair. You just don't. You just don't. Take it from an expert. 01:14 Narberth. Hello, Neil. Hello. 01:16 Hi, Nick. How are you doing? Good, thanks. 01:19 Oh, I mean, it's been... It's been... What a week it's been. It's been so much going on. 01:24 It's just been like one of your... What do you call it? A newsgasm, was it? 01:27 Yeah, a newsgasm. 01:29 Can't keep up, yeah. 01:31 Round, round, baby. Round, round. 01:34 I think I've written next year's A to Z already. Have you? In the space of a week. 01:39 Mm. 01:40 It reminded me of my writing things down this week. It's been a little bit like Bowie in the Lazarus video. When he comes out of the wardrobe and he sits in there and he's scribbling away at a rate of knots and thinking and then writing again and thinking again and so on. 01:57 Anyway... That was a beautiful picture you just painted for us. 02:00 It was like art. 02:04 Yes. Yes. 02:06 What do I think of it? He died. What's to think? 02:15 Now, were you a fan of his musicals? Yeah. I don't think I actually bought Bad Out of Hell, but Paradise by the Dashboard Lights is one of the great funny tracks of all time. I mean, it's just terrific. And the production, of course, which didn't have anything to do with Meatloaf himself, that was Jim Steinman, that was great too. I liked his turn in the Rocky Horror Show. Hot Patootie, bless my soul. I really love that. 02:40 Rock and roll! 02:43 I didn't know any of that until I saw a clip on the news tonight and I just thought, oh, I didn't know the internet. I wasn't a big fan, but I was interested. I thought you might like being a bit of a rock and roll. 02:55 Well, you want to at least buy Bat Out of Hell. You'll have to form an orderly queue because everybody on Earth will now want to go and buy that because everybody gets into a frenzy of purchasing as soon as somebody famous dies. All right, thanks a lot, Neil. 0345 6060 973. 03:13 Sean tweets, it won't be long and they'll be saying Sue Gray will investigate blackmail accusations. Yeah, no she won't. 03:21 She's busy. She's busy writing a report that everyone's going to be disappointed with. 03:28 I think that we're hoping for way too much from this report. I bet it doesn't even mention his imperial bodgeness. 03:35 I bet it doesn't even mention any ministers. It'll all be about the civil servants. 03:41 Jakey tweets, the two justices at the Cranky Orange put in the Supreme Court both voted against his lawsuit to block information about January the 6th. He must be absolutely fuming. 03:51 Yes. What do you think about that, Melania? I don't care. She's not bothered, not remotely interested. 04:01 Billy says, have you noticed Bodger wears his mask every time he's interviewed by journalists? Is it to hide the sneering smirk? I think it's to make us forget about all the times where he didn't wear a mask before. 04:11 because he wanted to get his photograph taken unencumbered with that face nappy. 04:17 And that was the reason why. I mean, he'd go glad-handing people in hospitals without wearing a mask, despite there being signs absolutely everywhere saying, please wear a mask. 04:29 For the benefit of the bloomin' patients... 04:32 And he sat next to David Bloomin' Attenborough without a mask, snoozing his way through the eco-conference, showing how much he cared, before he leapt to his feet to get on a private plane to go and have dinner with his mates in London. 04:49 What an absolute shower. 04:53 Edward says, after seeing how dignified Sajid Javid was the other day... What? Super Saj? 04:58 Super Sajman Jav? 05:01 He says, I think he should be the next PM. Rishi Sunak is not in touch with people's suffering. 05:09 He only pretends to be as he has his eye on next door. 05:13 Fishy Sunak. 05:15 Hmm. 05:17 Yeah, highly suspicious. 05:20 Super Sag. No. It's a no from me. It's a no from all of them. If you have the stink of this regime on you, then you do not get to just beat it off and pretend that it had nothing to do with you. 05:34 Kevin tweets, have you woken up in North Korea? I can't read that. 05:41 Can't read that. 05:43 People will be offended. Chelsea, hello Mark. 05:48 Sir, sir, you know those jingles that you have? Haven't you got one that can make us all pretend we're right and honourable in the mother of all parliaments with people going, Order! I'd like that. You'd like that? 06:04 Yeah, yeah, yeah. How about that one? Here we go, here we go, here we go, here we go. 06:09 Okay. That one? 06:11 Well, that's not bad. Not bad. 06:13 Yeah, there's that one. And this one. You're better informed than him. I don't know anything. I must get more of him. 06:22 I mean, I don't know. Where do I start? I mean, really? But yes, look, what about the... They won't take Little Man in Chelsea seriously. But what about the Good Law Project or anybody? If they phone the non-emergency police phone number... And so I believe 36 billion was embezzled. I just can't believe it was given to random strangers out of genuinely thinking that there will be no reciprocation. 06:47 Random strangers who also, in many cases, happen to just coincidentally be donors to the Conservative Party. 06:54 Well, you've got me out of that. One hand washing the other. Well, I suggest, I put it to you, sir, that it will be, in retrospect, we can't be making nobody at the top again. 07:11 God, you've got to laugh or cry. Now I know why you laugh. 07:16 Yeah, exactly. If you don't laugh, then you'll be crying. Shh! 07:21 And we can't have that, because life's too short. But, you know, I'll be out of giggles sometime soon. 07:28 All right, thanks a lot, Mark. 0345 6060 973. 07:34 Kath Feth. Don't worry, Nick, I'm sure Sue Gray can investigate this too and conclude that it's all Jeremy Corbyn's fault. You remember Jeremy Corbyn, don't you? 07:42 Boo! 07:44 That's right. Boo! 07:47 Yeah, chaos with Jeremy Corbyn. 07:50 Can you imagine that? 07:57 He says, I feel embarrassed and ashamed of our British government. These amoral corrupt people represent us, says Kath. 08:04 Correctamundo. 08:08 I bet that if Jeremy Corbyn had been Prime Minister, then we would not have lost £37 billion on a phone app that doesn't work. 08:17 For instance. 08:19 And I bet billions and billions and billions of pounds wouldn't have gone to donors to the Labour Party. 08:26 Because they don't have any massive donors like the Tories do. The Tory party is funded by a handful of billionaires. 08:34 The Labour Party is funded by hundreds of thousands of people, giving small donations. 08:44 And yet we've chosen the party that's funded by billionaires. 08:49 It's just... I mean, when you think about what we are doing here, it's just absolute insanity. 08:56 No, we don't want the party that represents hundreds of thousands, actually millions of people. We don't want the party that represents millions of people. We'd much prefer the party that represents just six people and hope that they'll be nice to us. Because that's what billionaires are known for. 09:15 Their generosity. 09:18 Archie Texts, I've been listening all day. James O'Brien had a lady talking about indoor coats. 09:23 What does that mean? 09:26 He's got indoor coats in capital letters and inverted commas. 09:31 Is that, like, a rude reference? Disgusting. It sounds like it is, but I can't fathom how it could be. 09:41 That's not very helpful, is it, really? No. No, not really. 09:45 Now, wait a minute. 09:47 I don't like that kind of talk. Now, just stop it. It upsets me. 09:53 0345 6060 973. Let's have a call in Pinner. David. 10:01 Hi. 10:02 David. 10:04 Nick, I think there should be a new entry in the Oxford English Dictionary at the next edition. Maybe they'll invent a new noun called a sugray. And a sugray would be defined as a deliberate attempt to delay the natural course of justice. 10:20 Of course, there could also be a verb, to sugray. In other words, defined as, or as in, I thought I was going to be prosecuted, so I decided to sugray. 10:34 Right. It's a regular verb. I sugray, you sugray, he sugray is. 10:38 That's right. Yes. Yes. An intransitive verb. Yes. 10:42 If you say so. 10:45 Well, I learned Latin a long time ago. 10:47 Oh, Latin, yeah. Expelliatus. 10:50 Or something like that. No, no. 10:51 Sum I am a gentleman. A's, thou art a fool. S, he is the biggest ass who ever went to school. 11:00 And that's what you learned in class, was it? 11:03 Yes. 11:04 Wasting your time. 11:06 No, no, no, no. Seriously, it's a great discipline. It helps you to understand language. And to use it properly. There's the other one, of course. All ships are feminine, even the male boats. 11:19 Even the male boats? 11:22 M-A-I-L. Oh, right. 11:24 Painful. 11:25 Come on, wakey-wakey. 11:28 Thanks a lot, David. And by which I mean, don't ever call this show again. 11:34 Rama emails, breaking news, the PM has announced that he is enlisting the help of a crack team of experts to help him look for evidence of blackmail. Stevie Wonder, Ray Charles and that bloke out of Peterson Lee. 11:45 Russ says, I feel Bodger still sounds too cuddly. How about Doris Bronson? 11:52 Doris Bronson. 11:54 Yeah, I like the sound of that. 12:00 On your bike tweets, Raab is a total idiot. What, tetchy, angular, humanoid, Dominic Deckchair Raab? Affirmative. 12:07 He says, the government have given magistrates more power to imprison up to a year instead of six months. People will elect to go to Crown Court to be tried by jury. The idea was to free up Crown Courts, which will in effect have the reverse effect. 12:19 Raab's a numpty. 12:23 Right. An angular, tetchy, humanoid, numpty. 12:29 And John says there's an inquiry into the party shenanigans. I think I was making a cup of tea when they named the investigating civil servant. Can you shed any light, says John. Sue Gray, Sue Gray, Sue Gray, Sue Gray, Sue Gray, Sue Gray. 12:41 They say it so often that it's almost as though they're trying to lull us into some state of hypnosis. 12:48 You are feeling very sleepy, Sue Gray, Sue Gray. 12:53 If anybody is on the edge of their seat waiting for the Sue Gray report, you are going to be disappointed. 13:01 I bet it doesn't even mention his imperial bodgeness. 13:05 Or any of his ministers. That's not what she's doing. 13:09 She's checking to see whether any civil servants had a party when they shouldn't order. 13:18 And if a minister or the prime minister has actually broken the rules, then the prime minister is the person to investigate that. 13:28 And if the prime minister finds that the prime minister has broken rules, then the prime minister decides what punishment the prime minister will suffer. 13:37 That's the situation that we are living under. Can you believe it? 13:43 Harrow, Sylvie. 13:45 Hi, good evening, Nick. My suggestion for a really nice, good Prime Minister would be Rory Stewart, but unfortunately he's an independent now. 13:57 Now, what do you mean by good? 13:58 He wouldn't be in the mess we're in. 13:59 But what do you mean by good, though? 14:02 I think, I just, he doesn't lie. 14:07 He doesn't lie like Boris Johnson does. He tells it the way it is. Even if you don't always agree with his policies, he's basically a very decent family man. Is he there? 14:21 And he spoke to, I heard a snippet, I think James O'Brien, James had a podcast. And he played some of it yesterday. And he really is a nice guy. Is he, though? 14:35 Is he nice, though? I mean, you would think that if he was nice, then he would... The way he votes in Parliament would show that niceness. 14:45 No, but he never... He's admitted that he doesn't agree with Boris Johnson, and he's never... 14:53 like Boris Johnson. 14:55 Well, OK, but that's one thing. That's a tick as regards his character. But what do you think that he would vote for concerning helping the poor? I mean, if he is a nice person, you'd think that he would vote to help the poor? I think he would be very fair. 15:12 Fair, OK. And I think he has a lot of humanity. Really? Yes, I do. 15:19 But that's not really based on anything other than he's not Boris Johnson. 15:23 Well, listen, who wants to be Boris Johnson, Nick? 15:26 Or Boris Johnson more than anything in the whole wide world. I mean, he's just... He catches his reflection in the mirror and he thinks, who is that gorgeous creature? 15:36 Oh, he's a total and utter disaster for this country. But he will be gone this year, of that I am certain. 15:44 Well, I'm not any more certain than that. I don't think he's going to get away with this one. Boris Johnson is a nice person. 15:49 Because people have lost their loved ones, they abided by the rules, while they were partying in number... People are not going to forgive him. 15:59 I bet they do. 16:00 I can tell you, I'm not going to forgive him. 16:03 Well, that's you, Sylvie, and you alone. His fans will forgive him because they will just get bored of this story. That's happening already. No, no. Are you still talking about this? 16:13 We're so bored. 16:15 I bet they will, Sylvie. 16:17 You're better informed than I am. I don't know anything. I've just found a more representative sample of the voting record of Rory Stewart. So let's see how nice he actually is. Almost always voted against paying higher benefits over longer periods for those unable to work due to illness or disability. 16:36 Almost always voted for a reduction in spending on welfare benefits. 16:41 consistently voted against removing hereditary peers from the House of Lords. So that sounds like he votes for the upper class. You know, he likes the idea of unelected bureaucrats, as long as they're upper class unelected bureaucrats, and against helping the poor, at least from what that record implies. 17:04 So just look them up. 17:07 Everybody should actually use that. 17:10 They work for you. It's a website. You can look up your politician of choice and see not what they tell you or what kind of act they put on in public, but how they actually vote. 17:23 Glasgow. Hello, Paul. 17:25 Good evening, Nick. Paul here, your Glasgow correspondent. Oh, aye. Oh, aye. It's all go tonight here in Glasgow. 17:34 Is it? 17:35 Yes, well, I've isolated to the back of my flat tonight because directly outside my flat, about 30 foot away, I've got mass searchlights on a mass of cherry pickers and at the bottom of the street, they're all filming the latest part of Batgirl. 17:53 Batgirl. 17:55 Yes, the latest movie from Hollywood. Oh, God, another superhero film. 18:01 Fabulous. 18:03 It's been quite myself. They've taken over all the local shops, transformed them into American shops with Gotham and things like that. They're going to be here until March. Blimey. 18:14 It's incredible how many trucks, when the film company comes to town, they really do just take over, don't they? There's so many of them. 18:26 This is a massive movie, mate. It's the biggest we've had here so far in Scotland. It is massive. They've taken over streets, traffic-wise, transformed all the shops into American shops inside and out, not just sticking signs on them, filling them like Christmas shops. Why would they do that, though? 18:44 That doesn't make no sense. Why would they come and film in a place? I mean, they could do that in America, surely. They've got American shops. I tell you what, they must be getting a massive tax break. They must do. Otherwise, why are they there? Very difficult to film in Glasgow, I would think. There must be some benefits coming their way. 19:02 Well, it's a major part of the city centre with a filament, and from what they've blocked off, you'll never see that again in a hurry. So, as I say, they're here till March, so this is just the beginning. But, as I say, outside my flat, if I was to go into the front of it just now, it's so bright. They did offer blackout material or earplugs. That's what they sent a letter offering, earplugs or blackout material. Really? I kid you not. Yes, I kid you not. But I didn't realise it was going to be as bright as what it is. Imagine massive searchlights on massive cherry pickles, 30 foot from your front window. 19:38 Yeah, it's weird. They film at night, but then light the night like it's day. Why don't they just film in the daytime? Yes. Film people just bemuse me. I just don't get them. 19:51 And the amount of security, it's unreal. I've got to train them when they throw at this. And you can tell when there must be one or two of the stars on, shall we say. I don't know who's in it. She's got all the people with her mega long cameras all holding up parts of the street, but not massive from what I've been reading about it. But I just thought I'd phone in, give you a bit of that. 20:11 Well, put on your tightest leather outfit there, Paul, and they might cast you in an important role. You never know. 20:18 Well, just before I go, on the subject you were talking about just before you brought myself in, That chap sounds like such a nice fella from the rundown you were giving him all the things he was trying to change. 20:32 Yeah, Rory Stewart, yeah. 20:33 I mean, see, I don't know how he feels about when you were to read something like that out. I would be quite shocked. if I want to do all that bad stuff. It's just not right. 20:46 I challenge you, Paul, find me a Conservative politician that did not vote in the exact same way. They're all the blooming same. I don't know why they are actually different people. Why don't they just construct a Conservative Party robot and they can all just stand there in a line and nod to whatever the dear leader says. Yes, me too. 21:05 Well, if you let them know I'm acceptable to lie down and just let them kick me, if it's any cricket to get it over and done with. 21:12 I'll give them your address. Thanks a lot, Paul. 0345 6060 973. So they're filming Batgirl. 21:24 They have totally run out of ideas in Hollywood, haven't they? Yes. 21:28 Although, like I was speaking about to a caller some while ago, that new film called Don't Look Up is great. 21:40 It sort of encapsulates where we are as the human race. 21:45 I believe we're doomed. 21:48 It's like a newer, smarter version of Idiocracy. I mean, Idiocracy is... Well, it used to be a comedy about the future, and now it's a documentary about the present. 21:59 Same kind of thing is Don't Look Up, but it's smarter and has more money spent on it. It's very good. Try it. You might like it. 22:10 Yeah! 22:12 Dude! Greenwich, Jamie. 22:15 Good evening, Nick. Yes, Jamie. 22:18 I'm perplexed. Yes. I am perplexed at why it's only Sue Gray investigating Boris, because with the amount of dead cats that have been thrown on the table this week, I'm surprised the RSPCA aren't getting involved as well. 22:36 She's not investigating Boris Johnson. She's investigating civil servants. She's going to leave him out of it. 22:41 I mean, just think of it. This week we've had Nadine Dorries, who has lambasted the BBC for... 22:49 calling out the government for all of their misgivings. For telling the truth. 22:55 Telling the truth will cost them a lot of money. 22:59 We've had the Royal Navy pushing migrants back into the water. 23:04 Kill them all. 23:07 We've had the House of Lords that have been voting down the Police Crime Commission Bill that Priti Patel has said was Labour partisanship. 23:16 even though it was the fact that there was 18 amendments in there that they didn't put through the House of Commons beforehand. 23:23 And then to top it all off, just to sort of throw a spanner into the works to sort of obsticate all of this that's going on with Boris, COVID is over. I don't know if you heard. 23:35 Well, I've heard that they're pretending that it is. 23:38 No masks, no COVID passwords or anything. But the one thing that really perplexed me is that all of this week, it was even called Operation Red Meat, like it was some sort of trigger warning that all of the newspaper articles this week for the Red Top readers, like the Union flag-draped brigade, that the Queen is only sort of secondary to God. When you have that interviewer, that had a chat to Boris on Tuesday saying, how do you feel about misleading the Queen? 24:12 Boris had this strange sort of 20 seconds of wheezing and struggling to breathe like he had some sort of anaphylaxis to the truth. 24:23 It's all just very perplexing. 24:25 I followed the ministerial guidance at all times. I followed the ministerial guidance at all times. I followed the ministerial guidance at all times. 24:31 Just wind him up and let him go. Just repeat the same thing. Exactly. Isn't it awful? Shocking. All right. Thanks, Jamie. 0345 6060 973. 24:43 Will says, presumably Christian Wakeford wrote a letter to the chairman of the 1922 committee. Will that letter now be annulled? I wonder if the chairman of the 1922 committee has written a letter to himself. 24:56 I refer myself to myself. 25:01 Dave tweets, what happens when the bodger gets the boot? Who are you going to talk about when he's gone? Just wondering. 25:05 Are you kidding me? The catastrophic clown show will remain the same. 25:10 It's either going to be Fishy Sunak, the well-known cashmere hoodie model, and full-time gazer into mirrors. 25:20 Isn't he an absolute dream? 25:25 Angular, tetchy, humanoid, Dominic Deckchair Raab. Affirmative. 25:31 The Brains Trust. 25:35 Or Priti Patel. 25:37 I mean, which one of those wouldn't be funny? 25:41 In a horrible way. 25:44 There'll be plenty to talk about, Dave. Don't you worry about that. 25:48 Rod texts. Operation Make Big Bodge Budge is in full swing. 25:55 Big Bodge Budge. Oh, the alliteration. Like Bunga Bob for Big Ben's Bong. 26:03 Operation Big Bodge Budge. 26:08 I like it. 26:09 But just a little bit. 26:11 0345 6060 973. Glasgow. Martin. 26:19 Hey, how are you doing? Can you hear me? Yes, I can. Are you experiencing the Batgirl filming thing? Have you seen them all set up? 26:30 No, I'm actually in Edinburgh, so Glasgow's 40 miles away. We're close, but it's a long way. 26:37 Yeah, I know. 26:40 I know that. 26:41 I grew up in Edinburgh. 26:42 But anyway, go on. Did you? I did. 26:45 OK, I'm not going to ask you the standard questions of what did you do and where you were, but OK, so you know Edinburgh. 26:54 I lived at a place called Weddingburn on the way to Dalkeith. 27:00 Oh, to Dalkeith. 27:02 Why? Well, hi. 27:04 Yeah, actually, yeah, so thanks for taking my call. 27:08 Isn't it a beautiful place? No. 27:10 Dalkeith is not a beautiful place. Not a beautiful place. No, it is not. 27:13 No, it isn't. 27:15 No. Lass Wade is quite nice, but Dahl Keith, Orphy. 27:22 But that explains a lot. A lot, yeah. 27:27 Actually, it doesn't explain anything at all, but go on. 27:29 No, it does. It explains a lot, because your opinions are fairly... Dalkeith-ish. 27:35 Yes, you're absolutely right. 27:36 Yeah, yeah. It's a Scottish expression of, I think we would say, pish. Now, I had one question for you, but I've actually changed it completely, because... 27:48 Now, you obviously are aware, but maybe your listeners are not, of the SNP MP who went down to Westminster, tested positive, drove through the things, and you slang off Recourse Mog. 28:07 Recourse Mog? 28:08 Yeah. 28:10 Are you all right? 28:13 Well, I've had a couple of glasses of wine, so I'm struggling with my... OK, well, maybe call us back before you start drinking would be a good idea. 28:24 I should have gone with my gut instincts. Always go with your gut instincts. 28:29 Then I would have saved five minutes. 28:32 Jane Tex, at this rate, the government... At the rate this government is going, we will seriously be investigating emigrating to Canada... 28:42 I'll see you at the airport, Jane. 28:45 This says, so if misleading Parliament is a sackable offence, why is this odious lying man still in office? Well, which one? 28:53 And Peter says, now Bodger's on the ropes and his comedy act is no longer working. We are seeing what he really is, a nasty piece of work who is prepared to ruin the careers of anyone rather than take responsibility himself. 29:05 Correctamundo. 29:07 Brisbane. Steve. 29:10 Hello, Nick. How are you going, mate? 29:11 Yeah, good, thanks. 29:12 That's the way. It's a bit early for drinking at this place at the moment. Oh, it's always... Not even 10 a.m. I know. 29:18 It's 6 o'clock somewhere. 29:21 That's exactly right. I don't know. 29:22 It's very, very dry at the moment. It's all good. I'll not go down the road to the other fella. Although he actually was lovely to listen to, so that's always a nice thing. 29:32 One of your calls earlier was just talking about Boris Johnson and heaping some praise and what have you. Sorry, not about Boris, but... One of the other politicians. And I was thinking that I was listening to one of the other presenters on LBC during the week. And she was actually incredibly effusive in her praise for Boris. Who was? Well, one of the other presenters was Raylene or Rachel or Rebecca or someone like that. Oh, his sister. 30:02 Oh, of course. Oh, that definitely gives the credit, doesn't it? There's a small detail you left out there, yeah. Well, you know. Just also, too, I heard you, I was just walking back into the room, and I heard you mention Elizabeth from Sheridan. What was the context of that, if I may? Just because I missed that, sorry. 30:28 Somebody of that name, who referred to herself in that way, used to call me in another life. 30:35 I know, because I've been listening to all your old shows, so I know who she is. She's such a very entertaining lady. 30:42 What's come of her? Do we know? Well, we don't, no. 30:45 None of those old regulars I am still in contact with. Although I do suspect that I heard an old regular just before I came on the air who called up Dean Dunham for some legal advice about ten minutes before I hit the air. 30:58 Rock and roll! 30:59 I think it was her. Oh, really? She is related to rock royalty. Okay... 31:08 I'll have to try and find the catch-up show of Dean Dunham's show now and have a listen to that. I will. 31:13 I will do it. About 10-2, something like that. 31:16 That's all right. Hey, Steve, what's the weather like in Brisbane? 31:21 Warm, always. 31:23 Winter or summer, it doesn't matter. It's just warm or warmer, really, pretty much. 31:27 OK, well, thank you, but we don't wish to know that. 31:30 It's blooming freezing here. 31:34 What I actually did call about, though... 31:37 I know you always talk about people not voting, or it's only the older demographic in the UK that do actually vote. 31:45 Is there a reason why in the UK, unlike Australia, that you don't have compulsory voting? 31:50 Australia has compulsory voting, that's right, isn't it? 31:53 Yes, correct. I think the reason is because when politicians get into power, the Conservative Party don't want compulsory voting because they know that it would mean they would never get in. And the Labour Party don't do anything about it because they're they're just so pathetically spineless. They don't want to... 32:15 I don't know. They don't want to make it unfair on the competition, whereas the competition would slash them into tiny little pieces and feed them to their dog if it meant that they could cling on to power. But the left wing just don't play the game like the right wing do. 32:34 Yeah. I mean, to me, I've always looked at... I mean, look, I've grown up with compulsory voting, but... To me, it just simply means that regardless of whether you think some people are, shall we say, lacking in IQ, it doesn't matter. The point is, it's the view of all the people. 32:49 Yes. 32:50 And for better or worse. And that's why I've always thought. saw that as being a good thing, rather than just who can be bothered on the day. 32:57 Exactly right, yes. If you just rely on whoever can be bothered on the day, then you are going to be run by extremists, because they will battle wind and rain and snow and sleet. They will do anything. They will crawl over broken glass on their hands and knees to go and vote, because they're extremists. People who are just, well, they're not that bothered... they won't go and vote and that's everybody under the age of let's say 35 I mean of course there are some people under that age who go and vote but not in any way the same percentage of people who are over 60 and so you get a country that's run by what the over 60s want which is where we are now. 33:42 If you had taken out the votes of pensioners, then we would not be outside the European Union and Jeremy Corbyn would be the Prime Minister. 33:52 That's actually true. 33:54 Thanks a lot, Steve. I appreciate that. Don't you ever call and give us a weather forecast again. 34:00 Warm. 34:02 That's not what we want to hear. It's like winter outside over here. 34:12 You've got a good, you know, your mind is a little bit, you know what I mean, three-dimensional. 34:18 No, I do not know what you mean, hippie. This text says, thanks to you, my ten-year-old daughter is on Bodger Watch. If you didn't know, this is children taking bets on how long Bodge hangs on. My girl has her money on two months. Ten-year-old. 34:32 Bet-nah, bet-nah, bet-nah, bet-nah. 34:38 Gordon text. Did you see Biden being asked what the biggest problem of his first year had been and answering over performance? 34:48 He says that's almost worthy of the orange one himself. 34:52 Oh, shut up. 34:54 He didn't say that, did he? Over performance. 34:58 Get that man a chair. 35:01 Gavin text, Jacob Rees-Mogg should be Prime Minister. Oh, please. 35:06 You're better informed than I am. 35:07 I don't know anything. I mean, this country's a laughingstock enough as it is. We're going to have a six-foot pile of ticks and affectations as our Prime Minister. Do me a favour. 35:27 Rob says, when is the universal payment coming and then only greedy people will work? 35:34 Are you talking about the universal basic income? 35:38 It's probably a very good idea. I mean, but it's never going to happen under a right wing government because the Conservative Party based their principles on winner takes all. 35:51 But they only do that because they've already won. 35:55 Benjamin tweets, if Boris Johnson wasn't a politician, he'd be one of those sad lowlifes that parties his way through life on Labour's nanny state benefits. 36:08 I'm not sure about that. 36:10 Alini texts, you should discourage your listeners to buy your book alongside bins. 36:16 It doesn't look great when Amazon recommends a bin on the what other buyers bought alongside your purchase list. 36:27 Aha. That surely is not what is on the Amazon site next to my book, is it? 36:35 If you're buying my book, then you'll need a bin to go with it. Well, I'm offended. 36:41 Dale text. Imagine how in the age of YouTube and the like, with all these interviews with the Tory invertebrates, these videos are there forever. Do they really deeply want this as their legacy? 36:51 Yeah, they're not thinking about the future. They're thinking about the right now. 36:56 And Mary text. When I switched on the radio news this morning, they were playing Bat Out of Hell, and I thought the PM had resigned. What do you think about that, Bodge? 37:07 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait a minute. 37:08 He's offended. 37:10 Gordon texts, like Watergate, we just need to learn, one, what did the Prime Minister know, and two, when did he stop knowing it? 37:23 And Pat says, I wonder if it works like the film Beetlejuice, where if you say Sue Gray three times, she will appear. 37:31 If so, can we expect to see plenty of her this week? I wish I'd thought to fill a suitcase I could do with one just about now, says Pat. 37:39 The contents of your average suitcase. Booze. Want some right now. 37:44 Yeah, I think that if the politicians say Sue Gray three times, then journalists disappear. I think that's the plan. They're trying to hypnotise us by just saying the same thing over and over and over again. 37:55 Look deeply into my eyes. Sue Gray, Sue Gray, Sue Gray. 38:02 You're feeling very sleepy. 38:05 0345 6060 973. Oh, I should tell you that I do a podcast with Carol McGiffin. 38:11 Oh, right, yeah. 38:12 We've just done our 100th episode. 38:15 Oh, right, yeah. 38:16 And it's got on the back of it the best of the 100 episodes so far, which are, I think you'll find, a right laugh. 38:26 I mean, seriously, eye-wateringly funny. 38:31 It's hysterical. 38:33 Because the idea of the podcast is some people send us problems and we try our very best to solve them, usually with little effect. 38:44 But it is funny. And there was one problem that came in. I read it out and me and Carol were just in absolute hysterics. I mean, we just like lost it for a little while there. It was just brilliant. But anyway, that's on the back of the 100th episode of our podcast, which is called What's Your Problem with Nick and Carol? 39:05 If you want us to have a bash at your issue, send it to the following address, nickandcarol at global.com. That's N-I-C-K-A-N-D-C-A-R-O-L at global.com. And prepare for total satisfaction. 39:19 And ask for that podcast on an internet near you by name. What's your problem with Nick and Carol? 39:27 Josie, Jose, don't know. 39:31 Difficult to tell. 39:32 I'm going to say Josie. Josie texts, the way this country is going, I think the only way out is to emigrate to Scotland and vote for independence. 39:40 I'll see you on the A68, Josie. 39:44 Jeff texts, you know, Nick, this breakdown in society started 30 years ago with Thatcher and with the lie that uncontrolled capitalism wouldn't eventually drive the poor back into a media led dark ages. The people have brought about their own demise driven by greed and hate. 40:01 Yeah, that sounds about right. 40:05 Yeah. As long as you can get people angry, they will vote against their best interests over and over and over again. Devon. Hello, Steve. 40:14 Oh, hello there. How are you well, Nick? Hello there. Very well, thanks, Steve. You're actually speaking a horrendous amount of sense tonight, which is fantastic. Oh, no. Sorry about that. There you are. No, it's like over in a pub in the middle of Exmoor, in the middle of nowhere, and the one question on the lips of everybody that comes in this pub, and it's all about the cheese and wine party, or the infamous cheese and wine party in the back of number 10, what sort of cheese was it? 40:41 What sort of cheese does Boris Johnson eat? 40:43 Yeah, what were they eating at this cheese and wine party? Because if they were eating foreign cheese, that would make a mockery of Brexit. 40:50 I don't know what kind of cheese Boris Johnson eats, but I do know that he eats a lot of it. 40:55 That much I do know. And on that harsh but fair note, that's it. And I do believe I told you about the podcast that I do with Carol McGiffin. There's over 400 episodes available now. How Time Flies. You can get What's Your Problem With Nick and Carol in the same place you've got this. What's Your Problem With Nick and Carol? I think you'll love it. 41:18 Also, there is the new Nick Abbott The Whole Show Plus offering. Now, you get the Friday and Saturday night shows. 41:26 Ad free. You also get an extra show with all the material that I couldn't fit in the Friday and Saturday shows, the messages that I got and the news stories I couldn't get around to. And a lot of stuff that I can't say on the air. Not rude stuff, but there's certain rules and regulations about a particular contest that's happening at the moment that I can't say on the air. So I vent my spleen on the podcast. Podcast comes out on a Monday. It's called Nick Abbott, The Whole Show Plus. 41:51 And so you get the Friday and Saturday shows as podcast ad free. You get the extra show and you get a newsletter which gets put into your inbox directly on Fridays, which sort of wipes up the week's news and launches us into the weekend shows. Ask for Nick Abbott, The Whole Show Plus. 42:12 And I'll be back on the radio Friday, Saturday, Sunday night at 10. And until then, I'll be seeing you. Bye-bye. 42:19 This has been a global production.